My explanation for Robin Williams' suicide death is based on what I heard and read on TV and over the internet these last two days from his friends, show biz associates and medical experts; but especially helpful for my analysis was a comment posted in yesterday's blog by Van Plotts.
Van Plotts wrote:
"Always I thought that Williams’ high strung but entertaining demeanor could be exacting a big toll on him. Like he had this huge, inner, vacuous hole inside that he was desperately trying to fill with his creative, humorous talents and drugs. Perhaps the deep, inner spiritual void was left empty. I think Apollo nailed it in suggesting that Williams’ suicide solved nothing. He took his inner void with him to the next life."
No doubt about it: Robin Williams had a "huge, inner, vacuous hole [the source of his manic depression]; "a void" that he was "desperately trying to fill" with his even larger "creative.... talents." My view on this is that the size and magnitude of Williams' creative gifts relative to the size of his psychological void (black hole) is key to understanding his self-murder and suicide. For so long as his talents and gifts were greater than the inner, empty, black hole (which he could fill to overflowing) he was out of harms way-there was no danger of him killing himself. Indeed, Robin's huge, joy-giving talents were his defense and shield from suicidal despair. His gifts were his finger in the dyke holding back the raging darkness, keeping the flood at bay. But this unfortunately could not endure and changed with the onset of old age. With the end of youth and middle age-when energy, strength and virility wane-Williams' creative gifts (and animal spirits) went into decline and put him on the path to despair, depression and suicide.
This awful thing can be illustrated by the simple mathematical ratio of 2:1: 2 signifies Williams' vast comedic gifts, 1 his inner void and darkness. As long as his gifts were greater than (or at least equal to) his inner void-he was a man in love with life who wanted to live and continue the great pleasure and fun of entertaining people. In short, there was no death wish in him-no compelling need to escape from this life. But when his gifts and talents eroded due to age and other possible factors (his heart surgery, drinking, drugs, sexual excess, etc.) the ratio was reversed. The darkness grew greater as his talents declined; he was no longer capable of keeping back the flood; and on the night of his death the dyke collapsed: the darkness burst through his defenses overwhelming him in an unbearable, agonizing paroxysm of manic depression and existential despair-the worst mental breakdown and convulsion he ever had insanely driving him to escape through death.
But Williams' death by suicide wasn't inevitable. It wasn't fate. If he could no longer (due mostly to natural causes) be his old, incomparable, comedic self-wowing the world as in the past-he could have struck out in a new direction, found a new and meaningful path and recreated himself. The opinion of some medical experts that his depression was principally biological caused by a chemical imbalance in his brain, is poppycock. He was suffering from a moral and spiritual crisis (a collapse of his identity) that he could have conquered and overcome-as many do who find religion or God or some new dream, aspiration and purposeful pursuit.
But for Williams it was all or nothing. His comic genius was absolutely everything to him; and it blinded him to any new possibilities beyond it. If he could no longer be the great comic talent that won him so much love, honor and fame he'd prefer to be no one. He unhappily believed that without his wonderful genius for improvisation (the source of his success) he was a nothing, a nobody, a nowhere man; a lost, empty, soulless being ever in torment while alive in the flesh-one of the walking Hollywood dead. Oblivion was better than suffering this dread. What a terribly sad end for one of history's funniest men. Again I say, I will greatly miss him.
As you know Robin Williams was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease which threatened to completely undermine his creative genius. As he couldn't live without this and face a life of almost complete creative emptiness he decided on death. But that brilliant man had a life beyond the talents that won him world acclaim. He could have continued to contribute and entertain us in other ways. His death was self-murder-disgraceful, unreasonable, wrong. Michael J. Fox, a victim of Parkinson's is heroic in comparison.